Let It Snow!

Today in Northern Indiana we were waylaid by our first blanket of the white stuff. I, unlike most, am thrilled by this. Every year I pray for a beautiful, white month of December. Most of this month is usually damp, dreary, and depressing- I would much rather it be pretty, white, and bright. It's much better for the morale, in my opinion. I, however, know that I am in the minority with this view. I LOVE snow! December and January should be cold and covered in snow- after January, it can all GO AWAY! I realize I am a SAHM, and that I am not required to leave the house, so this contributes to my joy as a result of the flakes that melt. As a child I had such a euphoric feeling when I heard or saw my schools name listed in the delays or cancellations. I remember feeling like this break in the daily schedule was enough to keep me going for the rest of the season- the same holds true for me today. I guess it's that holding on to the childhood excitement of the first snow that reminds me that there are still some things in life that remain full of wonder. Kind of helps you forget all those adult things we deal with on a daily basis like bills, laundry, cleaning, and whatnot, and reminds us to just sit in awe of mother nature's ability to blanket the land with beauty. I am thankful for this childlike view of snow that I cling to every winter. And those of you that don't enjoy it, please don't spoil it for the rest of us- give us this one happiness, at least until the end of January.

Sunday, not so Funday

Sunday is not my favorite day of the week.  It has always felt, to me, like a catch-up day.  Catch- up on the laundry, catch- up on the cleaning, cooking, yard work, etc.  To my husband, it has always been a sit on the couch and not move day.  To the kids, it's just another day.  When I used to work outside the home, it was the day before my return to the grind, usually spent whining about how much I didn't want to go back the next day.  These days I don't have that same sense of dread. I would now call it just plain old boring.  I'm not sure what I expect it to hold for me.  Something fun to top off the week and usher in the new.  Monday through Wednesday are usually school days solely.  Thursday and Friday are our "busy" days.  We have library activities, field trips, Girl Scouts, and grocery these days.  We don't have much time for TV, until the evening these days.  Watching the boob tube all day is not my idea of a good time.  In my husbands defense, this is the way he winds down, after having usually worked 6 days in a row.  I understand this need to veg, but it makes my mind numb.  I can only stand so much of it.  Weekdays when we home school, the TV isn't even turned on, unless I allow some Wii play after the school day is done, and I revel in the silence.  I don't miss it at all.  Today my husband is at his parents house with my youngest, helping install a deadbolt- on his only day off, and he has been gone 4 or so hours.  So, here I am, spending my Sunday watching, on a TV, my eldest play Zelda on the Nintendo 64.  It is pretty quiet though, without my youngest here, so there's that for excitement, I guess.

Doing the Dishes

This is what my counter top looks like right now.  I know, nice.  It seems I am ALWAYS doing dishes.  I wish I could manage the turn-over of said dishes.  Every night I say I am going to start the dish washer, and then I forget, so all of the breakfast dishes get to sit next to the sink in the morning.  They inevitably sit there until I decide I am in the mood to empty the dishwasher, which I should be doing immediately after it cools down from the drying cycle, but never do.  I admit it, I am lazy when it comes to the unloading of any cleaning appliance.  It is just such a daunting task, wah, wah.  Do your kids use 50 cups in a day, mine do.  I need to get an handle on it, I seem to be creating a larger workload for myself.  Maybe I will get to the dishwasher after I cook dinner tonight- because I need to update my phone, and right now, that is so much more important to me.  The dishes, I am sure, will be there for me when the proper time comes.  It's all about priorities;)

Peaks and Valleys

Something has got to give.  I need to make some changes.  Actually, I need to make MANY changes.  I need to lose weight, I need to exercise, & I need to eat right.  I need to clean my bathrooms, do laundry, water my plants, go to the grocery, & play with my kiddos.  I feel like my to-do list is so long, that I may never catch up.  I know everyone has things to do on a daily basis, but lately I feel like I am overwhelmed by it all.  I can't sleep at night, I am all out of sync, & I am SO over it. 
I tell myself that tomorrow I am going to start exercising, but "tomorrow" never comes for me.  I have no motivation.  I bought Zumba for Wii, have I used it once, no.  I paid for Weight Watchers for 1 a year, lost 40 lbs, then proceeded to gain it all back.  I eat fast food, skip meals, & basically abuse my poor body.  When is it all going to click for me?  There are days I am very motivated.  Cleaning, doing laundry, & playing with the kids comes easily.  The next day I can barely drag myself out of bed.  Peaks & valleys.  Ups & downs.   
I have talked to my doctor, am on meds for depression, but I'm not sure that the problem is indeed depression.  I have never been what you would call a happy go lucky kind of person, but lately I feel a bit like Eeyore.  I avoid social situations, even dread them, unless you include Twitter.  I haven't been out of the house in 3 days.  I am ready to snap, but I'm not sad.  My life isn't unhappy.  So why do I feel this way?
It's hard to even admit all of this.  I feel like I have been writing one big run on sentence.  I, I, I.  Me, me, me.  I just want to talk to someone who understands me.  I have considered, as suggested by my doctor, seeing a therapist, but every fiber of my being resists this.  "Buck up buckaroo", or "snap out of it" I keep telling myself. "You can handle this on your own."  Usually I deal with problems that arise quickly & move on to the next, but this just keeps popping back up. 
It was a bad day for me today.  My kiddos were a challenge, & I didn't accomplish anything I wanted to.  It's days like this when I tend to really dwell on my state of mind.  I hope some of this made sense.  This was a venting post, & I feel a bit better...... for now.  Rant over, demons excised, issue far from resolved.

Hormones are the Bitch, Not Me.

It's that time again folks.  You know, that time of the month we all look so forward to.  Menstruation.  For me it always seems like I am a mess more of the month than not.  I get all sore first, everywhere.  Next the "beboos" get so tender, I can't stand the thought of NOT wearing a bra.  Then come the cramps from HELL.  They have gotten progressively worse each year since I have had kids.  If I am lucky enough to preempt them by taking Advil a few days prior, sometimes I can head them off at the pass.  I was lucky this month.  Finally, enter the hormones.  I am an emotional person on a good day, and this is a whole new level of crazy emotional.  I struggle to not scream at everyone within viewing distance.  Sometimes it feels like I could crawl out of my own skin.  Like right now I am trying to write this Blog post and Evelyn is screaming questions at me in her typical fashion.  Serenity now!!  God forbid I see a sad story on the news, or a commercial even.  This results in a bout of uncontrollable crying, followed by looks from my kiddos or husband that say "are you insane?"  All in all, I am very unpleasant for at least a week and a half of each month.

I thought that this kind of thing got easier with age, not more intense.  I don't understand why, when I don't even need them for anything anymore, my ovaries/uterus give me such misery.  I used to try taking Midol to ease the symptoms, but the caffeine they contain made me jittery.  I was on birth control for a good portion of my early marital years and have NO desire to start those again.  I never could remember to take them everyday, as a person must, and they are unbelievably expensive depending on the brand your physician chooses to prescribe to you.  I might have to resort to total isolation.

I hope I am not the only one out there who has this sort of experience.  I mean, I don't wish this kind of hormonal assault on anyone, but it always helps to know you aren't alone.  What do those of you who must endure this do to lessen the blow, so to speak?  I know if I improved my diet, I would most likely see immediate results, but, easier said then done.  It's a process, what can I say?  Do you adjust your diet, take an herb, meditate, or have some sort of routine you follow?  I will take any advice I can get, after all, it's for the future of my marriage;) 

How Do You Handle Summer Bedtimes?

I pose this question to all the moms and dads.  I ask because I battle with this every Summer.  During the school year we struggle almost every night to get to bed at 8:00 PM for my 5 year old, and 8:30 PM for the 8 year old.   I am informed that this is a really "unfair" bedtime by my 8 year old son.  He says most of his friends get to stay up until at least 9:00 or 10:00 PM on school nights which, actually, explains a lot. 
The last 3 years I have been a helper in the kids lunchroom at school, I was surprised how many kids would complain about being exhausted on a daily basis.  We are pretty well into a routine around here during the school year.  Home from school, we start homework, & I start dinner.  We eat dinner when my husband returns home.  After dinner, baths, then stories followed by lights out.  We try to stick to this.  Then baseball begins and throws a wrench in everything. 
When school is winding down, baseball season is usually in full swing.  I'm lucky if they are in bed by 9:30 most of these nights, and if there is a 7:45 game forget it.  But then school lets out and we get into the later games.  When baseball season is over mid June, we are beyond repair.  Most nights I demand they be in bed by 9:00 PM- both of them, just so that we don't have total anarchy.  My daughter, the 5 year old, cries and complains every night, even thought she knows she's tired and NEEDS to go to bed.  My 8 year old son, on the other hand, NEVER wants to go to bed.  He could stay up until midnight and wake at 7 AM and be fine.  I would let him stay up later, but somehow I always give him the short end of the stick and make him suffer to spare her temper tantrum. 
I guess my question is, what time do you put your children to bed?  Is there an appropriate time for each age, or do you tailor it more to your child's personality or needs?  Do the "older" children have much later bedtimes?  What does your routine consist of?   Please share your wisdom with me, I am in dire need of it!

I Think I Was Just Over-Medicated

For the past year I have been, what I would consider for me, highly medicated.  It needs to be said that 2 out of the 4 meds I am taking are actually over-the-counter medications.  I take one for <gasp> depression, a prescription nasal spray, an allergy med, and a prescription sleep aid.  Of the 4, I would say, maybe 2 are doing their job.  I have been feeling pretty good for the most part, except for the fact that I am SO GROGGY most of the time.  This is no good for me.  No housework was getting done, I was taking naps like 2 times a day, not because I had the time for them, but because I couldn't keep my eyes open!  I mean, I could literally fall asleep sitting up.  If you know me, you know this is NOT normal. 
I kept complaining to the Dr. that it was the over-the-counter allergy med that was dragging me down.  He swore up and down that this wasn't the case.  Well, 3 days ago I ran out of said allergy med and never got out to buy a refill.  I decided to take a leftover bottle of my sons that we weren't using anymore.  I have felt no grogginess whatsoever in these 3 days.  I am ecstatic!  I woke up at 8:30 this morning, and haven't stopped since.  I haven't even felt like taking a nap.  This is a BIG deal.  The kids keep asking, as much as I hate to admit it, "Mommy, aren't you going back to bed?"  My kids even noticed how absent I have been (sad face).
 The good news is that I am on the upswing.  It's not to say that I will never again take a nap, but I don't feel like I need one right now, and that is all that matters.  I am doing laundry, catching up on what I left lay for so long.  The bathrooms need cleaned, but there is always tomorrow.  I think that goes to show me that I am the person who knows my body the best, and when I tell the Dr. I am sinking in quicksand, he needs to take me at my word dammit

Baseball Season: Take 2

Here we are two weeks into baseball season and we have played one, yes count 'em, one game and had three or so practices.  This is not a good thing.  Somehow every year the season is supposed to start in late April and carry over into mid June.  I don't think Mother Nature got the memo.  We struggle to get ourselves ready by selecting our players, calling the parent's to touch base, getting practices together, handing out uniforms, and buying numerous necessities.  Hopefully all this leads us to start the season relaxed and prepared to have fun, this is NEVER the case.  After we have cancelled numerous practices, and rescheduled the first half of our season, we usually just end up wishing it was all over and done with.  Seems to kind of defeat the whole purpose of playing sports for fun you would guess, and you would be right!  I love to watch my son play ball, and when the conditions are right, it is pretty fun.  Most of the time, until about half way through May, we end up sitting with umbrellas in hand, waiting for the coaches to decide whether to give the game a shot, or to pack it up and head home.  Today started out a bit shaky, but the weather seems to be improving as I write this.  Miracle of miracles, the sun is actually shining right now.  We may finally get to play a game tonight- all the way to the end.  This brings about my other problem.  I thought it was going to rain, so I didn't get the team snack.  Now I will be going out with both kids after school to pick up something for 11 boys and girls to share after their (hopefully) first VICTORY.....Play Ball!

Take It Easy on Me, I'm New To This

How to begin?  Well, I am new to all this blogging business.  I signed up for Twitter in 2009, then proceeded to avoid it until, on a whim, I picked it up to keep in touch with a great friend from afar @mommyto3blessings.  It was intimidating at first, and at times, still is.  Everyone seems so educated, so beautiful, so talented, and so well....unlike me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no simpleton, I just feel a bit naive compared to the rest of you ladies.  This being my first foray into this confusing world of the blogger, it took me almost 2 hours to use the simple template format to build this "generic" blog.  Simple, I beg to differ!  So many choices, so many gadgets and doodads.  A girl can't decipher it all.  Having said all this, I am so EXCITED to get started!  I have always loved writing, and I use that term loosely, so this seems a natural fit for me.  I enjoy the anonymity, the one in a million-ness;) of it mostly because it helps it not seem SO daunting.  However, technology, namely computers and I, haven't always been the best of friends.  We will see how this goes.  I don't know how all the moms/dads, full-time working, part-time working, etc, people have the time to write as much as you do.  I pray that I can keep up.  From here on out, I wish to vent, ramble, scream, cry, live my life day to day, and share each and every morsel of it with you all, whom I have come to think of as friends.  So here goes......